Based on the utter (ly made up) success of Get More Twitter Followers TODAY post, I have decided that I, too, am a SOCIAL MEDIA EXPERT. But why keep this to myself, I thought? (When I could tell you about it and seem smarter!) And so, I devised a
10 4 day course to make YOU a social media EXPERT. This is really all it takes. Get your LinkedIn profile ready, gang! You’ve got a new title to put on the summary part. YOU are going to be the next SOCIAL MEDIA EXPERT!!!
DAY 1 – Discover that everyone else is blogging and find a website that lets you get a FREE blog for FREE. Sign up and get the free account. Type in your first post: “I’m not really sure what I’m going to do with this thing, but here I am. I’ve got a great idea.” Then, wait a month and put up another blog post. But don’t let that stop you from your quest.
DAY 2 – Get an email from someone who wouldn’t talk to you in high school saying that they want to be your friend on something called MyFace or something. Get an account there and write up your bio. (It’s okay to fib a little). Discover the world of vampires and food fights and share quizzes with the other people. Extra points for tagging your friends in unflattering photos.
DAY 3 – Learn that blogging is dead. Discover that everyone is
using Pownce tweetering on this Twitter thing, and get right on that. Answer the question “What are you doing?” very literally. “I am eating leftovers and watching an Idol rerun.” Annnnd, don’t forget to Get More Twitter Followers TODAY.
DAY 4 – Announce that you are now a SOCIAL MEDIA EXPERT (it’s okay that this is a day early), and put up a website where you offer a seminar. $97 is enough. Also, write a
24 124 page ebook (well, you don’t have to write if you find enough really good blog posts to copy and paste together from other sites), and sell that for $27 USD. Then, make sure every one of your profiles on every social site you’ve joined (should be like 70) says “Social Media Expert” in the title. Oh, and while you’re there, consider putting up an avatar pic.
That’s it. You can just PRINT MONEY at this point! Was that too hard??? No, I don’t think so! But if it was, here are a few more tips:
- Tie the tools to business process.
- Ruthlessly explore the value of the tools and methods to your company’s goals.
- Build relationships before testing your business objectives.
- Read voraciously.
- Ask several questions.
- Explore and test new services as potential augmentation of your business plans, but stop using services that don’t serve you.
- Keep a timer handy so you don’t drown.
Inspired by a comment on Twitter from @grizzlysgrowls (in the good sense)
Photo credit C.C. Chapman