Today, I turn 44 years old. First, I don’t feel especially old. In fact, I’m in the best health and shape of my life (thank you, fitness journey). Do I feel more wise? I wouldn’t go that far, or at least not in the way that you’d think it would keep me out of trouble. I learn by failing. Wisdom comes with that learning.
I’m grateful for the love of a strong woman. I’m thrilled to be a dad to two really smart and funny kids. I’m blessed to have two amazing parents. And I’m lucky to have the support and connection of friends and allies like you.
On the occasion of my 44th birthday.
I would tell you the following, to place in the “what I’ve learned” and the “I hope this is helpful” columns:
- Confidence is sexy. Every day I’ve wasted worrying if I was attractive or not could have been stemmed off by simply improving my confidence. And how does one do this? By training and by learning. I fail often so that I can be much more confident of what works.
- The truth that matters most is that which you tell yourself. Nothing that escapes your lips will ever be as important to your success as that which you tell yourself throughout the day.
- If you can’t win by accuracy, win by volume. I’m not nearly as successful as others I know, but because I work harder and do more than a lot of people, I still win enough to be successful because of volume.
- Define what success means to you. If you chase vagaries, you’ll eventually catch them.
- Multitasking is a lie. (The cake is also a lie.)
- Serve the people you intend to serve and stop trying to sell to everyone. I no longer want “everyone.” I want owners and freaks. Period.
- The more love you have for yourself, the better the quality of the love you share with others.
- Love and work are tied very close together, if you’re lucky. And only you control your luck.
- Try whatever you feel like trying. Why not? I launched a magazine last year. Why not?
- You will never win by doing nothing. ( Only Luigi wins by doing absolutely nothing.)
- Suck it up, buttercup. I spent a LOT of my years being very sensitive. The more I’ve built up my mental toughness, the more I’ve learned how to better interface with the world.(I used to hate this advice.)
- Treat your body well. I really neglected mine for a lot of years. Now that I’m working on setting that right, it’s amazing how many other areas of my life are getting better by extension. I’m thinking more clearly. The discipline is helping with my business. All of it relates. And it took me decades to see this.
- The freaks truly will inherit the earth. I spent a lot of my life worrying that I was too weird for everyone. The more I stay true to myself, the more I’m able to help others. I can’t recommend revisiting who you really are enough.
Oh, and know this: lots of advice is stupid. The best thing advice ever does is give you false confidence that your own ideas are worth it. False because your ideas are always worth it. Be who you really are, but do it in the way that best serves others, and you’ll turn out okay. Promise.
Oh, and if you’re the gift giving kind, here are where you could send gifts:
Invisible People – help the homeless.
Kid Gigawatt – buy a cool tee shirt and fund autism projects in the mix.
Skip1 – skip a meal; feed a kid.