I have accumulated over a THOUSAND business cards in the last seven months. I know this because I’m finally handing them off to a woman in this office to build me a database. What’s funny is, I can clearly remember the people who I met that made an impact on me, and then there are about 100 or more cards that I have NO IDEA who the person is beyond what’s printed on the card. I know the reason why.
It’s very important HOW you connect and communicate at networking events.
Here are some Tips
Don’t lead with business
I don’t know you yet. I want to know what you’re passionate about, not what you’re selling. (See a trick here?) If you’re lucky enough to be passionate about what you’re selling, I’ll probably be sold before I even know you’re selling.
Pick one or two good openers
If you’re shy, or just not sure what to do next, try out a few good opening lines that you hope will move conversation forward. Good openers allow the other person to answer. “I noticed that the Superbowl ads were online at the same time as the game, only without all the football. What do you think about that?”
Good openers allow the other person to comfortably enter traffic (conversation). Bad openers can be answered with Yes or No.
It’s all about THEM
The best ever secret trick I can teach you about good conversation is this: fall deeply temporarily in love with the person you’re meeting. Make your world their world. And learn what makes THEM tick. Ask questions that let them brag. Ask big idea questions and let them fill in your world. I’ve had conversations where I haven’t said a word about me or what I do, and yet, the person in question ends up telling people how smart or nice or whatever I am.
People often forget that there will be time for everything over the course of your life. If someone gets to know you during the networking moment, they’re going to want to get to know more about you. Let that happen. Make this moment about THEM.
Brevity is King
Most networking experiences involved hundreds of people looking to get to know each other in a brief time. You might be there looking for clients, business partners, or whatever. Whatever the case, networking events are often a bit like speed dating. It’s important to be brief in your conversations, until such time as the two of you agree that you want to talk further and at length.
You’ll KNOW if both of you want to talk further. You’ll usually say, “would you like to sit down?” or “it’s loud in here: let’s go get some air.” Whatever. It’ll be some sign that people want you to move into deeper conversational waters. That’s GREAT.
But until that point, be brief. Let people move forward through the event. You’re not ALL meant to be with each other.
Be aware of body language
Happy conversation involves smiling and eye contact. It involves open stances with body parts fairly well aligned. Look for that. If you’re not getting it, see if you can alter the conversation. If you and I have spoken for five minutes (or three) and I’m starting to shift weight from foot to foot, and my eyes are wandering over your shoulder, I’m probably thinking of moving on. Be polite.
It’s not how many business cards you give out
The secret is in how many you GET, because only you can control contacting someone. You can’t make others contact you. So the only thing you can control is contacting people you’ve met. Get THEIR card. If they get yours, cool.
If it becomes about you
Be humble, but give them hooks. There are SO few times in life when it’s important to be brash, and I find that most networking events are laced with people who want to talk your ear off about how great they are. What people REALLY want at networking events (and by this, I mean anything from throwing drinking parties to hanging out at a conference dinner), is an understanding of whether you are someone to do business with, friendship with, creative projects with, or whatever in the future.
To that end, give people “hooks” for what you do that might be useful to them, without bragging. For instance, “I put on a conference with Jeff Pulver about the Internet’s impact on TV, Film, and Broadcasting. We’re always looking for great speakers and exhibitors. Jeff and I are also working on Network2.tv, a startup hoping to be your Internet TV network. Oh, and I do PodCamp with Christopher Penn, a free unconference about new media community tools. I’m really passionate about new media and videoblogging and most social media software tools.” Just those four things give you a reason to get back in touch, if that’s your bag. If not, maybe you’ll just be my friend because you like my silly jokes.
Be Honest, Genuine, and Real
Gone are the days when you should be anything but who you are. If you’re at the same events where I hang out, most of us will “smell” that you’re being fake. It’s just built into the social media mindset to be wary of phonies and stuffed shirts.
It’s just faster and easier for you to be real, real honest, and really happy to be in the moment.
What about YOUR best networking tips?
How do you approach this? I’d love your thoughts.