I’ve been online in some form or another since the late 80s. In the old days, it was bulletin board services (BBS). Then came AOL (and Prodigy and the Well and CompuServe). Then one day, the Internet got useful-ish, and we all could play. With that came newsgroups and Internet Relay Chat (IRC), the web, socialnetworks, and finally Twitter and so on. The problem, for as long as I can remember, is that many people misunderstand that the online representation of a person is tied to a real person, with feelings and thoughts.
Learning more about this and understanding how this impacts communication and other social interactions might give you some useful insight, and perhaps some next steps in how you approach online people and communities. I’d love your thoughts from any part of this equation.
The Plastic Human Problem: Visitors to The Community at Large
There are actually a few problems that relate to this. One is that newcomers to any online setting somehow often fall into the mistake of thinking everyone is exactly like them, and has also just arrived on scene. Not being digital natives, or at least not natives of a certain setting, they immediately make social errors that jar the existing community.
An example: in the old days of IRC (chat rooms), there would be a core of people who knew each other, who hung out, who talked about this or that. Someone new would come in and immediately blurt out an advertisement, or start hitting on the female chatters, or some other obvious social gaffe. The thing was, some of these people were nice, and they genuinely wanted to interact. They just didn’t yet accept that the chat room was full of real people.
It seemed — and I’m curious as to your take — that people who weren’t very attuned to the online world seemed to treat humans they encountered online as videogame non-player-characters. Not everyone acted this way, but it’s as if there was a lack of sensitivity to the fact that real people were on the other side of these communication chains. And that worked two ways.
The Plastic Human Problem: Let It All Hang Out
Social interactivity freed up a lot of “cellar dwellers,” many of whom hadn’t had as many chances to explore their socializing chops. In other cases, these people had physical disabilities that were overcome by the new technology (lots of deaf folks came online and felt more connected than ever). In other cases, they were just socially underskilled.
These folks experimented. They explored personae. They worked with personalities. They tried on new names and identities in the old aliased web, and thus, they made it easier for those non-natives to treat as less than real.
Trolls, Stone-Throwers, and Faux Celebrities
From this, I believe stems a lot of the behaviors we wish didn’t exist on many fronts. On one side, it’s really easy to be judgmental of others. We operate at a remove where we feel we can judge what we see versus thinking about the larger picture. I believe this is where trolls come from, or rather, it’s this plastic human at a remove that adds to the troll issue.
Stone throwers, people who want to accuse and condemn and feel righteous, come into this. Boy, there’s something about this medium that has everyone thinking that they have the “one true way” ™ & (c) to do things. I believe, again, that this comes from the feeling that the people on the other side of the keyboard are somehow less real, or less affected by one’s thoughts.
Faux celebrities. That’s me. That’s Gary Vaynerchuk. That’s a lot of names you know from the blogs you read or the videos you watch. By “faux,” we’re real people set into a situation where in a limited niche, we’re known for something, and people check in to see what we say.
Sometimes, people jump all over faux celebrities. We do it to real celebrities, so why not the Internet version. Lots of times, the criticism is useful, real, and spurs meaningful change. Other times, it’s just people being mean. Why? Again, I think it’s because there’s something that happens sometimes in the online world where we forget that people on the other side of the screen are real, have feelings, and all the rest of that stuff.
How This Can Impact You
- Consider the Communities You Visit – If you’re an Internet marketer, you might start at the early part of the post and think about the various online social communities and their social norms. Barbara K. Baker often points out that I’m not engaging enough in the communities behind tools like StumbleUpon or Digg. She’s right. So even I, who count myself a digital native since the 1980s, have lessons to learn when encountering various online cultures. Ditto my lack of experience and ability in Second Life.
- It’s a Bit More Real Now – The same social disparities exist. There are people with varying levels of social skill, and/or people with varying levels of transparency to who they really are, and if you’re looking to interact in this space, bear that all in mind. (You’re probably the one with the somewhat better social skills, so you have to carry the weight of being more tolerant of others.) If you’re thinking of being an alias, be aware that many people are playing the role of themselves online these days.
- Be Kind. Please Rewind – Somehow, a generation of media celebrities has turned the acceptable tone of disagreement to a harsh negativity. How did we let the Simon Cowell / Howard Stern / *.angry person tone become the default? This isn’t a matter of being sensitive. It’s a matter of not offering much value alongside a criticism. It’s okay to disagree with people, but why the cranky flavor? Why not just go after the issues at hand and offer a different take? Strikes me that the same end result still happens. No?
What’s Your Take?
This was a long one. There’s lots on my mind about it, obviously. I’m curious as to your experiences on the web with any of this, and how you think of the other people occupying these bits and pixels. What’s your idea?
Photo credit Gaetan Lee and Pathfinder Linden