I got plenty of rest yesterday, and I needed it. I didn’t get to run in the afternoon as planned, but that’s okay. We got LOTS more snow today, so I’m planning to leave work early (time owed) and hit the state park by the house for a quick six or seven. It’s so gorgeous out. I’m the only goober whistling Let It Snow.
I wanted to talk about drive and motivation. Last night, I wanted to eat something when I woke up for my daughter around 1 AM. I thought about having a bite, but then I realized that I’ve been four days straight monster-free. No nighttime snacks for four straight days. (If you knew me, you’d be ASTOUNDED). And there’s lesson 1.
A winning streak helps.
Now that I’ve got a little streak of success going, I’m not anxious to break it. Same thing with cheating snacks during the day. I haven’t had one of those for six days. Why? Because I love that I’m racking up numbers. It’s like the 12 step programs. They measure their success with time sober. I’m a big fan of this mindset.
This morning, I woke up at 5 instead of 4:30. This means I’m already a little behind in getting out and to the gym. The snow had started, so that’d mean even more time eaten cleaning the car off. So, I drive to the closer gym, which isn’t as nifty as the one 15 minutes away. And when I get there, I realize that I don’t want to get out of the car. I’m tired. I feel no motivation whatsoever. I’m afraid I’m going to do poorly for some reason. Lesson 2 comes next.
A little something is better than nothing.
I found myself saying, “Dig in and push!” over and over, under my breath. I got out of the car, went in, changed up, and dropped down to attempt my 30 deep and “good” pushups. Nope. I got 25 solid ones, though. 5 cheap. MUCH better than I’d imagined I’d do, but not my goal. But it was something. I smiled, and went on.
I thought SURELY today would be my first actual chinup. Nope. More like 85% instead of the 91% the other day. So, I did four negatives and called it good. But that was four good, solid negatives (where you start in the “up” position and work slowly down, training your muscles for their eventual destiny).
Several other exercises fell a little short of their mark, but still showed progress. And in every case, I felt the same little mix. I felt disappointed that I’m still not raging about gain after gain. But I felt satisfied that I was in the gym, giving it my effort, and pushing myself forward.
The Reward Is Internal.
I went home after two hard, struggling, sometimes disappointing hours at the gym. But I returned with the satisfaction that I’d done what I could manage, that I was in a slightly weaker state (from the 3rd shift sleep deprivation), and that I am training towards my upper limits for right now.
Coming home to my beautiful daughter, who was so happy to see me, and my lovely wife, who wanted to snuggle me for hours this morning, made it a hero’s return in many ways. I’m feeling encouraged with my motivation levels. I’m thrilled that I gave it something. I am successful on so many counts, with a winning streak in several of my measured categories. It makes a world of difference.
I placed two more mini posters up at my office. They’re basically a lot of chopped up pictures from Trail Runner, Adventure Sports, the EMS Catazine thing, and a few other places. I capture little phrases and words, making my own sometimes. They say things like: “Trail velocity,” “Do EVERYTHING better,” “Get in Shape!” Things like that. There are lots of fit people doing things I can and cannot do. They show me what I can choose to do when I leave here. They remind me what I’m capable of doing when things here aren’t their best.
But mostly, they remind me not to eat crappy foods while at work, because it will impact me when I want to be doing these other things.
“Dig in and push,” is something my little inner coach came up with to combat my sense of disappointment earlier in the week. But it’s a great way to keep me moving forward istead of slipping back. And the game, my friends, is between the ears. Everything happening with the meat? That’s just biology, physiology. The game is played on a 3 inch field. And I aim to hit hard.
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