Sometimes, you mess up. Sometimes you disappoint other people. Sometimes, you have someone who doesn’t like you, no matter what you choose to do.
Why is it we get so wrapped up in that person? If I read 50 amazing and charitable things about myself, and there’s one jerkbag, I think about that jerkbag all night long. I lose sleep over him (almost always a guy). What is that about? That’s the stupidest use of my time ever, and yet, I’m guessing you feel that way too, right?
By the way, sometimes, it’s your fault. Sometimes, you’ve done well by 99 people but you did something really stupid or insensitive or whatever to one person. To that person, you’ve let them down and you’re not what you preach, and you’ve let slip something that isn’t what they expect in you.
Push Past the Defeat Feeling
You have to shake off that person’s impression of you and focus on the value you’re attempting to deliver to others. You’re welcome to apologize to the person if you’ve been wrong. But just let the big ball of negative feelings wash out of you. There are just too many other things that need doing.
Don’t fight back, if you can help it. Nothing rarely comes from getting the last word in, and many times, it just goes to fuel the person’s point that you’re a jerkbag (in their eyes). Also, there are often other circumstances afoot, and they rarely (if ever) have something to do with you. Presume that the person is really stressed about something and that you’re just part of the collateral damage on the way to that person restoring his or her mood.
Remember that you’re going to falter sometimes. Accept that and just move forward. The best athletes, the most successful people, the people you know though you’ve never met them have exactly the same problem as you: a hundred people praising them and two jerkbags. Only, depending on who it is, you have to multiply for masses that might recognize him or her.
You Can’t Please Everyone
In the role you fill on this planet, you will upset everyone at one point or another. Everyone. You will also please many people. You will also be the one great idea that changes someone’s life. You will know love and you will help someone else feel love. That whole upsetting people part? It’s just a season.
Shake It Off and Move Forward
Say it out loud if you have to. “Man, whoever Jake is, that guy really thinks I’ve sold out. Well that stinks.” And then go do what you have to do. Don’t work hard to prove the person’s point is invalid. Just go do what’s on your agenda. Adjusting for someone whose opinion might not relate to your efforts isn’t a good use of your time.
But remember, you might have really been a jerk, might really be at fault, and probably wouldn’t hurt anyone by apologizing.
(Note: I don’t get this one right always. I’m sensitive like lots of people.)