Conferences, job interviews, parties, and other events that bring people together to meet for the first time can be tricky for some people. Or what about when you are looking for people that share your interests regardless of location. On one hand, you have people who are a little shy, and unsure what to say upon meeting someone for the first time. On the other, you have people who aren’t especially shy, but who don’t like meeting someone cold. Social media tools are perfect for this.
Before Events
If you’re going to an event, start checking around to see who’s attending. Look for an Upcoming entry or a Facebook group. Most modern conferences put these up as matter of course (and if you RUN a conference, consider this step). From there, see if you are already friends (social network definition) with any one. If not, consider friending them based on the fact you’re heading to the same event.
Other places to check for event communities are on Yahoo! Groups and Google Groups. You might have some other recommendations for this one, too.
Before Interviews, and Related to Events
Log into LinkedIN and see what you can find about your interviewer, people who work at the prospective new company, and other companies in the industry. It’s a way to build a picture of the landscape without relying on other people’s information. For instance, if the company you’re thinking of working at turns up zero results in a search on LinkedIN, it might mean that the culture is less forward-thinking or at least not social media equipped. If you look at a few profiles that come up in the search, and note that people are only there a year (two or three samples, maybe), then perhaps the place is big on competition, or maybe not really rewarding to long term employees.
Related to events, once you know someone’s going, see if you can find them in Facebook (maybe MySpace), LinkedIN, Twitter, and see if you can search out a blog by putting their name and blog in a Google search. Oh, and don’t forget Flickr.
Flickr is a PERFECT tool for searching out info on people. I’ve known some people who don’t use their headshot as an icon on any social network, but a little Flickr searching later, I realized I could point them out at an event. (By the way, if you don’t know this, that’s why I put LOTS of pictures of myself on my website. It’s because I want you to be able to find me at events. Not because I’m vain, though I guess you could argue that one, too).
Conversation Pieces
From here, once you find some shreds of this person or some people online, you’ve built yourself a means by which to seek out similar points of interest, tangential conversational topics, and maybe even potential business opportunities you can discuss, should the moment arise. That’s the beauty of social media and social networks. They let you better understand the people who participate.
If You Find NOTHING About People
That can be a conversation starter, too. “I didn’t find you on Facebook. What do you think of those social networks?” You can assume that the person isn’t especially convinced of the value of social networks and making media, but I wouldn’t lead outright with that. Maybe this person is a prolific blogger behind the firewall. Maybe they’re using an alias. It took me a little TOO long to connect Genuine on Twitter with Jim Turner of One By One Media. They were two different people in my head until spending some time at an event.
After Events
Stealing a page from Jeff Pulver (who is a MASTER at building community in the real world and online), after events is a great time to “plumb up” all the various social media connections. Get connected in Facebook, maybe LinkedIN, in Twitter, Flickr, and wherever else you tend to use. Consider reading their blog, adding it to your reader for a while. Make it a chance to learn more about the person now that you’re in their orbit. Do what Laura “Pistachio” Fitton does and invite them into your Twitter Village. The point is to get to know them now that you’ve met in person.
Reflect on YOUR Presence
Some people are debating the value of Facebook right now as a business platform. At the very baseline, fill out your profile. Give information that you wouldn’t mind your employer seeing. Not because you have to self-censor, but in this world where people use the tools that are available, your Facebook page and your Twitter stream and all these various artifacts you’re creating are available for people to search.
At the same time, once you get over the paralysis of the above, make sure you put enough of yourself into your profiles that people can get these conversational hooks to communicate with you at events. If you’re strictly business at your conference appearances, try to indicate that in your profile. The point is, once you realize that you can use these tools to build real world relationships, consider the effect in both directions (you finding them; them finding you).
First Moves Are Yours
The conversation itself is up to you, and no, I don’t tell you how to not be shy at an event directly (though one way you can do this is to find your way into circles of people on the periphery, and look for your conversational in). But with some of this prep out of the way ahead of time, you’ll find yourself a lot more prepared than when you used to show up at these events “cold.”
The Social Media 100 is a project by Chris Brogan dedicated to writing 100 useful blog posts in a row about the tools, techniques, and strategies behind using social media for your business, your organization, or your own personal interests. Swing by [chrisbrogan.com] for more posts in the series, and if you have topic ideas, feel free to share them, as this is a group project, and your opinion matters.
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Chris, while this is geared more towards conference organizers, attendees can start to ask/demand this type of thing from their conferences. It is a copany called pathable (http://www.pathable.com) and they make it easy to connect at conferences by putting your interests on your badge and matching groups by colors, giving people something to talk about immediately.
Scott Berkun wrote about this once - http://www.scottberkun.com/blog/2007/social-software-applied-pathable/
Chris - I just Tweeted about this recently, but, as usual, a thoughtful blog post is sometimes better than a quick Tweet.
I’m a shy person. I love speaking in front of people, but not meeting/talking with them. Why? Fear - the neverending doubts that surface such as “Why would X want to meet/talk with me - they are the experts - what do I have to offer to the conversation,etc” - Those critical voices in the head continue to plague me, but, having some names/topics prior to entering a networking situation have made me confident enough to walk up to complete strangers and introduce myself.
Using Twitter prior to a networking event (@Bryper Social Media Breakfast - Boston - December 17) enabled me to enter a room knowing a couple of names, a few faces, and the confidence to have a couple of talking points.
By far, it was one of my favorite events and for the sole reason that I felt confident, prepared and not as afraid :)
I’m ALWAYS going to use social networking tools prior to events in which I am walking into a room w/o knowing anyone - not using them seems like I’d be leaving money on the table - Plus, there’s probably someone out there as shy as I am and who would love to have someone come over and introduce themselves, right?
Good stuff, Brogan.
The “plumbing up” component is critical while the event and your personal contact is still fresh in everyone’s memory.
As a sales hack I’m always “leaving my hat behind” - creating my followup hook that takes the “plumbing up” activities from passive to active.
Recently emerging from my very first conference, UNCONFERENZ, surrounded by a wealth of knowledge, I realized my strength was the “social” side of social networking and social media. As I learn more, and find my way through, it’s my sincere personality that connects me to others.
Researching the attendees is very important, especially for a first-timer or relatively introverted person.
Great advice as always!
I’m just the opposite of Ami. I can and enjoy chit chat with a few people, but put me up front in front of a group, forget it. I don’t quite have an anxiety attack, but pretty close.
http://www.golfnorwich.com/
Shh we are two different people!
I have actually thought about signing up for events with my name tag being “Genuine” since it is really has become my brand. I know you have blogged before about getting your personal brand up and running, but alas, I have somewhat grown accustomed to having a alter ego much like “Shoeshine” is to “Underdog.”
Chris-
Good post. People need to fill out their profiles on Facebook and MySpace so that they can be found. Even if they are not going to be active using the online social networking tools, if they do not have public profiles they could miss opportunities. Many seemed to be either afraid or overwhelmed by the thought of using social media. But it is not a fad.
thom
Hi Chris
I found your blog by accident via your book review on UK recruiter, and it’s and interesting read.
I’m currently working with TrustedPlaces a social network for people looking for places to go. We’ve got all of the usual stuff including a Facebook group and app. etc.
I’d be interested in speaking to you in more detail about how to leverage our networks strengths vis a vis others such as Facebook, making this an inter-social networking question.
Please contact me if interested in further discussion.
This article was so awesome. You’ve just been opening my eyes to a ways of utilizing social media that I had never even thought was possible. Like, using it more “naturally” I guess you could say. You are bringing the subject back to the ground in a way..
Plus, if you are hosting a meeting, make it more participatory
http://www.movingfrommetowe.com/2007/12/23/make-your-next-conference-more-participatory/
and/or host a meeting via MeetUp, with a speaker series and perhaps make money in so doing
http://www.movingfrommetowe.com/2007/12/12/organize-a-meeting-share-interests-make-money/
….Chris should speak at meetings of professional meeting planners (MPI, ASAE, PCMA, SGMP etc.)to speed their move toward inclusion of social media
http://www.movingfrommetowe.com/2007/11/05/how-will-we-meet-in-the-future/